Black Swan

Coaching

D. Indra Payne

What's my main focus as a coach.?

*What is Narc-is-sism.?

*Whats narc-is-sis-tic abuse.?

*What's a Trauma Specialist.?

*What does narcissistic abuse have to do with trauma.?

*What are limiting beliefs. ?

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D. Indra Payne

👽… Hi my name is Darail. Call me D.

Im a certified trauma specialist, and narcissistic abuse expert. I help people over come their emotional trauma, relationship trauma, heart ache, and heart break 💔

If you never heard of the phrase Narc-is-sism, thats ok.

- Messaging is 100% free - my current ig handle is.

@d.indra.payne

*A few things you will learn -

How to tap into your strength. ✔️

How to set boundaries. ✔️

How to say no. ✔️

How to recognize toxic people that are only users and abusers. ✔️

How to recognize toxic abuse that so many people would never recognize as abuse. ✔️

How to know when someone has your best interests at heart ❤️ or is only a manipulator. ✔️ (someone that is or was the user & abuser in your life only cares about you because they feel that they can use & abuse you. They feel that you will tolerate their toxic behavior no matter what.) Having boundaries is saying, I'm not going to tolerate this. - The person that is using you only loves you because they know you will.

- If you are an adult or even a teenager, always remember, - if it doesn't feel good to you it must not be good for you. Sometimes even things that feel good to you aren't always good for you.

***Black Swan Coaching***

*A few things you will do, and have -

Heal from your toxic relationships. ✔️

Have a certified trauma specialist on speed dial that you can talk to and share with. ✔️

Have someone as apart of your support team to help you through stressful times. ✔️

*A few things that I will do -

Help you have a better sense of inner peace and clarity of the mind, body and spirit. (Guaranteed) ✔️

Help you overcome the affects of, and understand toxic people and narcissistic abuse. ✔️

- In a nutshell, narcissistic abuse is having a relationship with someone that happens to be on whats called the npd scale and influenced or influences you to have a disregulated, and or confused state of mind, body, and spirit.

Generally the abuse comes from someone close, like a lover, spouse, or parent.

(lover, spouse, parent, coworkers, boss, siblings) that is on the scale ⚖️ of narcissism that affects your mind, body, or spirit in a way that doesn't serve you. Is an example of narc-is-sistic abuse. /

One thing that narcissists do after affecting you in that way is giving you the metaphorical medicine to the confusion, neglect, manipulation, and or behavior that had such a demonic affect on your mind, body, and spirit, only to repeat the cycle. The cycle of I'm abusing you, now here's the medicine, I love you 💋

The toxic person doesn't have to influence trauma-bonding within you for it to be narcissistic abuse. Generally when someone has a romantic relationship with someone that is on the scale ⚖️ of narcissism, the relationship is always trauma-bonding because of the nature of narcissistic people.

(Don't worry if you're un-informed as to what narcissism is I'll give a brief description in a bit.)

(Trauma-bonding 💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️ is a complex psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person develops a strong emotional attachment to their abuser, despite experiencing abuse or neglect.)

When a narcissist that's high on the scale ⚖️ says hi how are you your cute, let's be friends as an example.

The narcissist is a user and abuser. The person that you are speaking to and is probably going to have a romantic relationship with sees you as someone that will tolerate their abuse. I'm not suggesting anyone should have fear of connection. Human-beings are designed for connecting. What I am suggesting aswell as promoting is smart decision making. For example— Be mindful of someone’s actions and behavior. People always tell me stories about how they've been an a abusive relationship for years & years. 👽- If someone is abusing you, or constantly cheating on you,

you don't have to tolerate it.

When you see that someone doesn't have your best interests believe them. Most times it doesn't take years to recognize that.

👽 Years later you are damaged 💔 - theirs a strong sense of dissociation.

You have a disregulated nervous System, ptsd, limiting beliefs, and is in a trauma bond with the narcissist or toxic person that more then likely showed you time & time again that they aren't good for you. That they clearly don't respect you. That they are bad for you. When you are no longer with the vampire,

I mean narc-is-sist, the affects of the abuse and toxic behavior still affects you. The affects of narcissistic abuse can come from anyone that you've had a relationship with that was a

narc-is-sis-t.

(Parents, lover, so-called friend, spouse, child, siblings, co-worker,) It's not abuse simply by knowing them, it's abuse when its abuse. Abuse and narcissism is complex remeber I said

(in a nutshell) I keep referencing narc-i-ssis-tic abuse specifically but im also talking about any type of abuse & toxicity. Children are the only ones that don't stand a chance against the abuser & or toxic person.

That being said those same children that survived the abuse are often the ones that feel a strong sense of safety later on in life with toxic people, especially narcissists.

The reason is beacause those bonds feel familiar. Bonds (meaning trauma bonds, pay attention) with those toxic people for years & years, & years, & years. Sometimes even untill their last breath… Its the perfect fit until it's not.

(I'm not here to judge anyone, life is long and sometimes hard. Love who you love, do whatever you want. We all make the decisions that we make for a reason.)

Moving on —

That's where I come in. Not for free of course.

👽 We do the inner work together in 1 on 1 sessions and or group sessions that help you retrain your Nervous System. ✔️

Regain your inner self that you may have been disconnected from for God knows how long.

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Note: I am not a therapist.

I am apart of your support team.

*How we do the inner work together…?

We do the inner work together by many ways. 1 way is by simply having another soul as apart of your support team.

* A strong support system can significantly help with healing of, heart ache, heart break. 💔

Childhood (trauma/abuse).

Any kind of abuse.

Confusion,

Healing from Toxic relationships,

By providing a safe space to share experiences, validate emotions, feel understood, which can ultimately help individuals regulate their emotions, build resilience, and build trust. Essentially offering a sense of stability, security, and safety that may not been their during the traumatic times of your life.

*Key 🔑 ways a support system helps, & how we do the inner work together - with healing of heart ache, and or heart break.💔 As well as the confusion, depression, sense of isolation, overall healing, growing, and thriving from that space in the concrete that you the rose 🌹 are stuck in.

***Black Swan Coaching***

*Emotional validation - Your Black Swan life coach can listen without judgment, acknowledge the pain of the trauma, and let the individual know that their feelings are valid. (Heard & Understood) Which can be crucial for processing emotions, moving forward and healing.

*Sense of Safety - As apart of your support network, your coach will create a secure environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their experiences without fear of criticism or disbelief. Allowing them to open up and heal.

*Coping mechanism development - Support systems can encourage healthy coping strategies like talking about difficult emotions, engaging in activities that promote relaxation, and seeking professional help when needed.

*Coping Mechanism development refers to the process of actively learning and practicing healthy strategies to manage stressful situations and difficult emotions. Essentially building a toolkit of behaviors that help individuals effectively deal with challenges in life, ranging from simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing to more complex problem solving approaches depending on the situation. 👽… My personal favorite activities and things to do that help me regulate my nervous system aswell as managing my stress are in no order

#1 - Recieving a massage. Sometimes I will smoke weed or take a weed edible then recieve a 3 hour theraputic massage right after during and before my massage. (Sometimes by 2 girls at once) I don't promote drugs as a Coping mechanism however I am a Marijuana user and have been regularly for 15 years. 18 months is the longest that I've gone without and as I'm writing this on February 25th 2025 it's been 50 days since I've had Marijuana.)

I dont plan on smoking it anymore because smoke is an element that overall is not good for long term use. Smoking in general regardless of what it is is not good for you and I plan on living to be 100.

(It's been 2 years since I've swore off alcohol and 50 days since I've smoked)

If you do decide to engage in Marijuana 2 things to understand.

(1 only get it from a Marijuana dispensary.)

(2 no matter how much you smoke no amount of smoking will fill the void that you may feel that you have. Marijuana is awesome but its still a drug.

No amount of smoking will get you as high as edibles. Edibles have kicked the asses of some of the greatest stoners of all time. Willy Nelson, Snoop Dogg, and myself. ⚠️ Edibles are very potent)

- 3 Don't start with edibles. Edibles means - (Marijuana infused treats - food)

- Talk to your Dr. Before you decide to use Marijuana if you’ve never used it before. I dont recommend using any type of drugs to help with depression. Especially pills. When people are depressed and they teach themselves that taking drugs is the answer, that can lead them to a life of addiction. I'm only mentioning Marijuana because I've used Marijuana regularly for 15 years and people always ask me about my opinion on Marijuana. For personal reasons I've completely quit smoking it as of today. 1 thing I noticed is after 2 months of not taking it I had a wow moment like wow Marijuana is a natural pain killer. I just never noticed because it was always in my system. Not for major pain, but minor aches, and pains.

Moving on -

#2 Yoga / exercising. Body weight exercises are my favorite types of exercises. I do lift weights sometimes and plan to lift more so I can build more muscle however. Out of all the exercises that I've done in my life. Yoga is by far my favorite. Dancing is my second favorite, weight training is my 3rd. When I say yoga I'm including anything that is considered calestinics. Push ups, sit ups, lunges, etc. Yoga helps release tension, stress, emotions in the body. Plus you will build a hot yoga body. Be more flexible and feel amazing regardless of what kind of exercises you do. If you don't exercise start immediately, like a.s.a.p.

A body N Motion Stays N-Motion E-Motions N Motion Stays N-Motion & guess what, are bodies, spirits, and emotions are in motion.

#3 - Practicing mindfulness - Meditation - & - Doing deep breathing exercises. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system which helps you calm down and relax. During my yoga teacher training I learned all about breathing exercises. Let's try one… as your reading This, remember you are loved and understood. Safe, any other view is simply just a misunderstanding. Calm down and embrace that belief system for at least 60 seconds. As you do this always rember you have a belly button. Focus your energy on your belly button. Take a deep inhale ……. Then, Exhale… If your inhales are longer then your exhales that generally means that you are in fight or flight.

(The exercise is over I just wanted to prove my point)

You can still do it as long as you like. 1 of the best ways to regulate and retrain your Nervous System is to Consciously focus on your breathing while Recieving a massage. Theirs many ways to retrain your Nervous System to help you. These are some of my 3 favorites. Not including the Marijuana because being sober is always better. When I say 3 favorites I mean

(exercise, massage, meditation.) Marijuana is like a tool. Just like a hammer is like a tool, you can give someone a hammer and some of them will use it like a tool while others will use it like a weapon.

Marijuana doesnt retrain your nervous system for theraputic healing like exercising, massage therapy, and meditation. Marijuana is more for like expanding your consciousness, relaxing, theraputic healing when used right, however im trying my best not to promote drugs and at the same time share my opinion on the subject.

1 thing I’ve learned is most people that make laws banning the sacred plant have never had any experience with it. One thing that I would never promote or engage in is drinking alcohol. Alcohol is one of the worst, most dangerous drugs in the world and yet you see commercials constantly promoting alcohol. If their was a baseball stadium split in half with one side being stoners, and one side being drinkers. Who do you feel would cause the most problems.

Alcohol destroys your Nervous System and lowers your Vibration. Alcoholism is a serious problem. If you are a alcoholic I wish you the best and good luck with your sobriety. (God Bless)

Moving on -

What's a narcissist you ask.?

👽… People always ask me whats a Narcissist.? Narcissism is essentialy a mental health disorder. Someone that has borderline NPD would be high on the scale because they have NPD.

NPD stands for narcissistic personality disorder. Narc-is-sism is a scale of low on the scale - to high on the scale.

When I am speaking about Narc-is-sism Im mostly always referring to someone who's high on the scale.

Romantically speaking lets establish & make 1 thing clear… I personally would never be in a romantic relationship with someone that is a (Vampire-narc-is-ist)… The reason is because Narcissists are users & abusers…

Even if She is a billionaire, I wouldn't sacrifice my health & wellbeing to have a relationship with a Narcissist. Health is wealth… If I am trying to establish a relationship with the person of my interest once I recognize that she is a Vampire, I mean Narcissist, that's the end of our relationship… Narcissists love those that praise, idolize, worship them & tolerate their abuse, manipulation, & lies… Someone that doesn't is of 0 interest to the vampire… Their are many different types of toxic people, even if someone isn't technically considered a Narcissist- toxic is still toxic. Some alcohol is stronger than others.

Narcissist are users & abusers, toxic people that draw their energy of life from the tree of confusion, spiritually speaking…

Narcissist meaning vampires are confused & 1 of the reasons being in a romantic relationship with them circulates the cycle of abuse is because of the vampires nature… Narcissist are confused & confuse those around them, especially honest kind hearted people like Jesus of Nazareth… That's 1 of the reasons in the Bible, B.i.b.l.e basic instructions before leaving Earth that God told Jesus aswell as myself to Seperate yourself from your hometown it will awaken you my son… That being said most people are unaware of Narcissism & narcissistic abuse…

👽… According to the (DSM-5) Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders… The criteria of diagnosising N.P.D are as follows -

A-

(Persistent pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Present in various contexts across different social situations since early adulthood.)

B-

At least 5 of the following traits are present.

👽… 1 - Grandiose sense of self importance. 2 - Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. 3 - Believe that they are special and unique. (Believes that they could only be understood by or only associte with other special or high status people.)

4 - Needs for excessive admiration.

5 - Sense of entitlement.

6 - Lack of empathy. 1 thing all narcissists have in common is they all lack empathy. (Or at least healthy empathy. Sympathy and Empathy are two different things.)

👽… 7 - Interpersonally exploitative. Takes advantage of others to achieve goals. (Which is very easy for someone that lacks empathy.)

8 - Envy of others or believes others are envious of them.

9 - Arrogant and haughty attitudes and behaviors.

👽… Note: * The symptoms must be pervasive, and persistent, affecting multiple area's of the individuals life. * The diagnosis should not be made if the symptoms are primarily related to another mental disorder. For example Dexter from Dexter Original Sin is not classified as a narcissist. Dexter is classified as a Psychopath that clearly has narcissistic traits.

I admit sometimes I use the word Narcissist to much. Toxic is a more accurate way to describe toxic behavior.

Email or DM for questions.?

***Black Swan Coaching***

*Gave love bout 100 tries*

Just running from the demons in your

mind, then I took, yours & made ‘em

mine

*I didn't notice cuz my love was blind*

Halsey… Without you

The End

My job is not to tell you what to do my friend… My job is to help you Have Clear thinking & Inner Peace/ & you will have clearer thinking aswell as a better sense of Inner Peace, thats guaranteed……. When you can think more clearly you make better decisions. You sleep better. You think better. You live longer. I'm looking forward to working with you, God Bless you.

D. Indra Payne